You can always tell a selfish lover, be it male or female by the slogan on their tee shirt or coffee cup: some version of “Some of Us are More Equal than Others.”
(Can you remember the source of that quote from your high school English reading list?)
For selfish lovers, male or female, it’s all about them. What they like, how fast, how slow, you can’t come until I do, if I come it’s expected, if you do, big deal.
The hardest types of selfish lovers are those who spout a great line, “Of course I’m there for you. I’m the greatest you’ve ever had. I can give you the best orgasms. You’re lucky to have me.”
Notice, it’s still all about them. Even if they are talking about you.
Royal pain in the keister.
Now, don’t go looking for the “official definition” of Selfish Lover Syndrome.. I made the phrase up, after hearing one too many stories of someone bragging about how great they were, and not getting at all how unsatisfied their partner was.
It’s all about “if I’m satisfied, you must be satisfied too.”
Au contraire, boo-boo. That attitude went out before duck tail cuts and multiple crinoline petticoats.
SLS characterized by “it’s all about me,” misses the point of making love…not just getting your rocks off…but the connection, feeling loved, intimacy, laughter, all those good thing that come from having two people sharing as they make love with one another.
It’s what let’s both of you drift off to sleep, or meet the day, feeling refreshed, more alive, closer and ready to go forth to meet the push and pull of life as we know it…knowing you are connected and there for each other.
Beats just about anything else….well, there’s always chocolate.
