Every man does it. You probably have been too.

At the first sign of trouble, you check it out. Gotta see if it is working this time.

It won’t be.

Spectatoring Spoils Performance

Spectatoring, watching how well, how adequately, you’re performing whether it be serving in tennis, negotiating a business deal, or trying to sustain an erection, means you won’t do as well as you want to. Sometimes you won’t be able to do anything at all.

Doesn’t seem fair, I know. All of us are compelled to check up on ourselves while we are performing.

It just doesn’t help…and it makes things worse.

You look down to see if it is up…and it goes down.

The reasons are partially psychological, but also physical.

Psychological Interference

When you are performing, especially with something as exquisitely reactive to environmental factors as sexual response…any distraction can interfere with your ability to function.

Especially something as noxious as evaluating what you are doing while you are doing it.

Evaluation has come to mean finding fault. We almost always look first at what is wrong rather than what is right.

So, knowing the verdict is going to be critical, we tense up and our performance suffers. Every time we evaluate as we go along.

The time for evaluation is later…not in the moment.
And, not immediately later. That’s almost as bad.

Physical Interference

Evaluation in the moment is also a physical interference.

As one client said, “I need all the blood I can get to be focused and working for me. Not feeding my intellectual brain cells. It’s needed little further south.”

Constant watching and checking can quickly slip over into an opportunity for disappointment and verbal self-abuse.

Take Purposeful Action Instead

Instead of watching and waiting for improvement, start taking action.

Interrupt your verbal self-abuse by reminding yourself of what you are doing to make things better

  • You acknowledged you wanted and needed some help or you wouldn’t have read this article
  • You want to make a difference in your sexual health and well being
  • You know you can do something more than what you have been doing
  • You have already stopped waiting and have started taking action

So keep reading. Browse through the other posts, articles, and resources on SatisfyingSeniorSex.com and be sure to check out my latest book, How to Enjoy a Satisfying Love Life All Life Life Long