Most people reading this blog are old enough to have missed the sexual revolution. For most of us, our sex education consisted of an embarrassing conversation with a teacher in the sixth or seventh grade. Girls heard a lecture about becoming a woman, and saw a Disney cartoon about menstruation. The boys were in a separate room, with their own embarrassing discussion.
Most of us learned the details from such classic sex manuals like Peyton Place, and other scandalous novels of the fifties-early sixties.
Not only was most of what we learned from these experts wrong…but it is horribly out of date.
If you want to build an effective Intimacy Team not just to tackle your ED, or the lack of intimacy in your relationship, but also to bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your loving, it’s time to update your knowledge about your body, the changes those of us of a certain age commonly face, and screw up your courage to develop better love’n skills and techniques.
So look back at the posts on the common changes aging for both men and women to understand that you aren’t facing some sort of dysfunction, but just the realities of life as we get older.
And, seriously consider adding some new skills and techniques to your love making arsenal.
Tools like more effective stimulation techniques that will ease your body more quickly from desire to arousal.
More potent relaxation techniques to allow your body to relax into an erection. Not just so you can enjoy it but to more easily get it back when it starts to fade. (Notice the adverb in the last sentence was when, not if. It will fade. You need to know how to stay calm, and get it back.)
And, most importantly, discover how to use each other’s arousal and bodies to support and promote satisfying sex for both of you.
This is the commitment you need to make with yourself and with one another.
Develop better sexual skills…
AND, USE THEM!
