For More Satisfying Senior Sex Start Appreciating Each Other

One of the most common of comments I hear from readers is “my honey doesn’t appreciate me.”

Then start the complaints:

She doesn’t notice when I’ve gone out of my way for her.
He doesn’t realize how much I do around here.
She dresses nicely when we are going out, but is a real slob around the house.
He is all lovey-dovey with our women friends but doesn’t even touch me.”

All of these are complaints readers of SatsifyingSeniorSex.com have forwarded to me.

Even worse were the complaints from women who said some version of “He appreciates what I do, the laundry, cooking, cleaning the house, but not who I am.”

They then went on to describe traits and activities that expressed who they were: their talents and gifts. Like being really good at dealing with his sick mother, an accomplished artist, a woman who had been making a real effort to lose weight, another who was focusing on serving more healthy meals. And, of course, the woman who said she was really ramping up being more affectionate towards him.

One subset of  comments was about husbands who micro-managed their wives, with constant suggestions and criticisms, especially pointing out routine chores that needed to be done.

One husband even complained how she folded her underwear. He simply couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t do it his way, which was the correct way of course. It was all I could do to resist pointing out that if it was clean and in “her” drawer why was it such a big issue? She wasn’t exactly like him? She wasn’t following “THE rules?”

Another woman summed it up by describing herself as an employee rather than a partner in their relationship. He made all he rules and held her to them. She was only valued by what she did when she served him.

This isn’t what’s happening at your house is it?

While we all like to do things our way, we can’t be excellent at all tasks, and the last I heard marriage is a partnership where you call on the skills and talents of both parties.

This means all of us, men and women, need to challenge ourselves to be more appreciative of what our honeys are doing. Not just what they are doing for us, but what they are doing for themselves. Especially when they are trying hard to make changes.

And, less critical of those things that really don’t matter. You know, “don’t sweat the small stuff.”

Folding underwear is “the small stuff.”

Being loving and appreciative, supporting each other as you both grow and change, taking time out for fostering closeness and tenderness with each other is NOT the small stuff.

Be sure to let me know what is the burr under your blanket, what irritates you, what makes your relationship a joy, so we can all learn from one another.

Leave your comments below. And check out this post on relationship agreements if you see yourself in the stories above.