For lots of women, even many many senior women, the big question is still “how can I tell if I’ve had an orgasm?”
The flippant, and not so nice, answer is if you have to ask you haven’t had one.
The more accurate answer goes more to how individual women experience Read More→
I don’t know about you, but I find it appalling that I can still hear my mom’s voice tell me what I should do, or shouldn’t’ do, especially when it comes to sex.
I grew up in a large family, and mom had a rule for us five girls 
that she pounded into our heads:
Do not let any boy touch you anywhere in here. Then, she drew a large circle that included everything but our hands, feet, and head. It was no man’s land.
We heard the rule before leaving the house for a social occasion with the girls, and really heard it when we had a date.
For those private times when we were home and by ourselves, her corollary to the rule was:
No touching yourself either. Except for hygiene purposes only. Then, you could wash with a wash cloth, but no bare hands.
I won’t embarrass my family by sharing how many of us went by the rules.
I don’t know what your mom’s rules were, but what I’ve found as I’ve worked with many of my clients, many of us are still following our mom’s rules when it comes to sex. And lots of other daily habits too. (Don’t ask me about the rules for washing dishes. You wouldn’t believe them!)
So, think about the rules you still abide by that your mom told you were must do’s.
Some were very appropriate:
However, some of them seemed to reflect our mother’s fears more than make sense. Yet if your family was like mine, mom’s rules were the law. You will behave yourself.
When I asked one 68 year old, who really wanted to be more loving with his wife, to try some new techniques and figure out how they could be loving now that their bodies had started to change, he replied he couldn’t do “those things.”
When I asked him what was holding him back, he finally admitted that even some of the “tamer” suggestions would have shocked his mother. They were all things that his mother had told him he was never to do.
I had to ask, “How old was your mama when she told you what to do? And not do?”
After thinking for a moment, he admitted she was in her early thirties, a kid herself, trying to do the best for her child.
My only question for him, and maybe a good question for you too, was
“Are you still letting your mother decide what your love life is all about, what is okay and what’s not? Aren’t you older now than when she was setting down the rules? Isn’t it time now, as an older adult, that you get to decide what is right for you, especially with something as important as your love life?
“Or, are you still going to let that kid, well meaning and loving as she was, tell you how to live your life now? Especially your intimate life with your sweet love?”
You might want to think about these same questions for yourself and your love. Especially if you want to make some changes, learn some new skills and techniques.
And, be sure to claim your complimentary copy of my latest audio learning program: more than an hour of tips, sex therapist secrets, and specific suggestions for making your senior loving more satisfying no matter how old you are or how old you get to be…all without dangerous drugs or demeaning devices. Even if it’s been a long time. Just go to==>
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Even if you do sometimes have trouble with getting or keeping an erection, it doesn’t have to mean the end of your love life.
And, even if you are still doing just fine in that area, there have probably been some changes that come with age that make intimacy more of a challenge as we get older.
For many folks, when we were younger, Read More→
Sex always starts with emotions. Especially satisfying senior sex.
Whether the emotion is lust or love, a quick response to a stranger on the street, or seeing your favorite movie star on full screen and technicolor, it all starts with emotion.
Especially when you are trying to rekindle the desire Read More→
Women’s orgasms have been the butt of comics, trashy movies, and even the press.
It’s a common belief that men give their women orgasms, and all orgasms stop with menopause.
Neither of those beliefs are true. Yet many women, especially older women who have already been through menopause are sure that their time for orgasms are over. Or, if you are one of those women who have never had an orgasm, you may well be sure you never will.
Again, not true. Read More→
