No couple goes to bed one night, shares a satisfying lovemaking session and then decides it will be the last one.
Ever.
Yet, this is what happens to many couples who end up with low drive: dramatically decreasing the number of times they make love. Maybe even stopping all together.
Especially senior lovers.
Seldom is low desire attributed to inept lovemaking, or even ED.
Almost always low desire, not wanting to make love, not getting aroused, has to do with relationship problems. Either the relationship you have with your honey, or the one you have with yourself.
By your sexual relationship with yourself, I mean the feelings, beliefs, values and ideas you’ve learned, adopted, or decided over the years.
One of the most potent stoppers of satisfying senior sex is either of you believing sex is just for making babies. Once that option is closed, couples with this belief stop having sex.
Some women still hear their parents’ warnings about sex: nice girls shouldn’t. Others find specific practices their honeys favor to be embarrassing, distasteful, or shameful.
Sometimes, it’s your partner’s response. One client shared her husband always jumped out of bed as soon as he came, gargled noisily, brushed his teeth, and took a long shower. Then he changed into fresh p.j.’s before coming back to bed.
She was mortified. Sure he thought sex with her was distasteful at best, or possibly even went so far as to be disgusting.
When I suggested she find a way to share her feelings, she admitted she was too afraid to hear the reason why he did what he did.
His unusual behavior and her inability to speak up about her fears and concerns undermined their whole relationship.
After a few short counseling sessions, she decided this was just the way her life would have to be.
She would still let him have sex with her, she just wouldn’t respond.
To see them today, you can tell they are just existing together. She has her friends and interests, and he has his.
Seldom do you see them together.
All because they couldn’t/wouldn’t talk about what was bothering her.
Do you see any of yourself here? What is the unspeakable you are avoiding? What impact is it having on your relationship? How is it getting in the way of your satisfying senior sex?
Why not be the one that brings it up?
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