One of the biggest traps to making changes when you are having a problem with a sexual issue is getting stuck trying to figure out why you are feeling the way you are feeling.

Or, being afraid anything you try won’t work.

Or feeling discouraged that nothing worked before.

So, you ask yourself why should this book, this article, this blog post, this suggestion from your doctor, be different?

It’s really discouraging when you’ve struggled for a long time and haven’t found the solution you need.

Tom, a pseudonym of course, had just such a problem.

For more than 10 years had been avoiding any relationships, knowing they couldn’t lead to sexual relations. All because of an unpleasant, and to him, an unappealing, rash in his genital area that had been an painful, itching, oozing mess.

During these 10 years, he asked more than 4 doctors what could be done, dermatologists, his primary care physician, and a nurse practitioner who specialized men’s sexuality. But got no relief. Finally he gave up.

He felt doomed to going through the rest of his life alone.

Then he had to change health plans, which meant a new physician. This new doctor didn’t mince words. She not only asked lots of questions, but she listened carefully to Tom’s complaint about his long-standing problem,

She then prescribed an inexpensive cream, not promising miracles, but advising him that the cream had worked with some of her other patients.

Within less than a week, Tom’s problem cleared up with daily applications. He’s found it doesn’t come back if he uses biweekly preventative doses.

Tom said he almost didn’t mention his problem with the rash to this new doctor, he was so convinced that nothing could be done. Now he’s back on the dating scene at 58 with a new resolve to find a special woman for him.

Don’t let this be you. Being reluctant to speak up to your doctors, letting them ask all the questions and tell you have to do isn’t always the best way to get your problems solved.

Remember, doctors are people first. And, many of them have the same hang-ups and reluctance to talk about sexual matters that so many of the rest of us have.

It’s your body, and your problems that need to be solved.

If one thing doesn’t work, ask again…and again…and again.

You’ll be glad you did.