For women, the changes of aging may seem obvious.

We go through menopause, whether hastened along by a hysterectomy, or the “natural path” of waiting for our hormones to slow down and eventually stop.

While the primary effect is cessation of our child bearing ability, there are lots more subtle, and not so subtle, side effects of no more hormones.

Many men would say, “Finally I got my sweet wife back.” The wide swings of hormonal levels during menopause often set even the most even of women off into wild mood swings.

In terms of the effects of significantly less hormones on your sexual feelings and activities, the process and patterns are similar for most women.

However, the intensity of the effects, and how they get played out, may be dramatically different from woman to woman.

Some women lose interest in sex and seem to want to get out of the house and back into the world of work, or volunteer, or make a place for themselves unconnected to their life at home.

It’s a common effect from the lessening of the hormones that led us to be mothers and nest builders. All that mothering activity just doesn’t call to some women after menopause.

Some women find they just aren’t interested in sex, and the same sexual practices or activities that used to arouse them are now not just unwelcome but unpleasant and are a turn off.

Other women find relief in no longer fearing an unwanted pregnancy and become more sexually active.

However, there are two often unwanted and challenging changes of aging that most women face:

  • It takes longer to get aroused
  • We don’t lubricate as easily

Almost all women find it takes them longer, much longer to become aroused. Not that they aren’t feeling aroused, and desiring to make love, but their bodies takes much longer to experience the level of arousal they have become accustomed to. Many women need much more direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm than it used to. Lots more.

At the same time, almost all older women find they just don’t lubricate as easily or as sufficiently as they did before they went through menopause. Without sufficient self-produced lubrication, they can find intercourse, or even direct stimulation to any part of their vulva, irritating and uncomfortable.

Luckily there are enough women facing insufficient lubrication today, thank you boomers for finally getting old enough to help the rest of us, that there are plenty of brands and types of  “personal lubricants” on the market, available on line, in specialty adult stores. And more than likely in your own neighborhood drugstore, and even at Wal-Mart and Target.

Just take your time, sample a few. and find the ones that will work for you.

I’m often asked about the old standby, Vaseline. Every urologist seems to say go ahead, use it. Most of the gynecologists say, use a cream, lotion or gel that’s water soluble like personal lubricants made especially for women.

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