The most frequently missed step in improving your  senior sex life is working on desire first.

Not the desire to have a better intimate relationship, but More on Building Desire and Emotional Connection

Enough already. Get ready, time for another rant. I should probably have known when I started looking at other blogs and other articles on the article sites.

But, I plowed on through them getting more and more annoyed. Alright, I confess, I was ripped.

What was the cause of all this orneriness?

Articles about More on Penis Size has Nothing to Do with Why Women Have Sex

Finally, we've got to the second part of a series of posts all about increasing your sexual skills and feeling more connected to your honey. (Click here for the first post.)

When we're talking about do-it-for-yourself Sex Therapy, it's crucial to get in tune with what turns each of you on. If it's been a while, believe me, what you feel, like, get turned on by now is really different than it was when you first met.

Keeping current with what works means discovering anew your turn ons, your current erotic zones for both of you.

Before you can explore your erotic zones with your partner means you need to know what's erotic for you, and what's more or less erotic. So, each of you take time to make a list of all the thoughts, images, activities, erotic zones on your body, and what will make them sing.

Don't hesitate to add your favorite fantasies, activities, and areas that you haven't used for a while, what felt good when you were young and randy, what turns you on now, and what REALLY turns you on.

Some of the items on your list may be new ideas and activities you're learning now, both from this blog, and other resources you've been finding on the web or at your local bookstore. Others may be your “old standbys.”

Get specific. If you've listed kissing, is it on the lips, a little peck, deep tongues, or sloppy nuzzling chews?

Exactly where, how, and how much makes it just okay or off the charts?

Rate each of the items on the list from 1 - 100. What's just okay, not painful or irritating but certainly not ringing any bells. Then all the way up to the bell ringers and knock your sox off activities.

Your objective is to get a full range of items, with lots of them in the 1-50 range.

Why do you need a whole list of items? Why go to all this trouble?

First, we all change as we get older, and it's important to be able to choose activities that work for both of you now. Not habitually doing something that was great for when you were much younger, but isn't so effective now.

The other reason for having lots of items on your list, especially in the 1-50 range is to counter a common problem men men have, starting late and racing to the finish line.

They start their love'n session with activities in the top tiers of their erotic list, those activities they've rated 50, 60 or even 70, and then race to the finish line before they lose their erection.

When you're tired, rushed, stressed, or fearful of not keeping an adequate erection, it's not uncommon to have trouble making the transition from life pressures and feelings to being erotic, aroused, and satisfied.

But starting too high and hurrying can just sabotage your efforts.

Remember: go slow to go fast. Figure out your erotic continuum, and start with lower level activities so you can build to a climax. Not frantically chase it around the bed.

Of course you know the next step will be sharing your lists with each other.

One of the most common patterns for couples who have been together for a long time is losing that love'n feeling. It’s what the pros call a lack of sexual desire.

And, it takes some attention to get it back. Time to start being deliberate about having more satisfying senior sex by getting back that love’n feeling.

Most couples have slid into lack of desire, without even realizing it.

It can include the little things…not letting your honey know how much you appreciate what they are doing for both of you, saying thank you, noticing when they’ve put in some special effort.

And the big things…not making love for weeks or even More on Reawaken Those Love'n Feelings

The foundation of all relationships, with friends, family members, co-workers, and especially our significant others is that it's both give and take.  We agree to come together and form a relationship.  Each relationship we have includes choices, responsibilities and agreements.
Each relationship provides rewards and gratification.  Without both giving and getting our relationships flounder.
Relationships are not easy.  They're not More on Keeping Relationship Agreements for More Love’n